Happy Friday lovelies,
So, we are talking a lot on the blog about romance and intimacy in honor of Valentines Day. It’s so fun! But what if you find yourself alone for the big day? What if instead of being excited, you are anxious? Believe me, I have been there.
Tostitos and Sour Cream Girl
I was the girl who always had the boyfriend or was looking for one. And, you know what that meant? That I spent a lot of Valentines and weekends alone when I was in between partners. Or I stayed in some very toxic relationships because I did not want to be alone. I prioritized searching for or being with a guy over friends, hobbies and even myself. It got even worse after my first marriage when I found myself in a pool of mostly married couples and a few hold outs. Many nights including Valentines, you could find me seated in front of my computer combing through Match.com inhaling a huge bag of Tostitos and a tub of sour cream searching for the “one”.
I am not a girl that lives with regrets. Those salty snacks kept me going, and Match was a good distraction for awhile. I learned a lot during that time. I will tell you though that I felt unfulfilled, pissed at myself for eating all that crap, longing for something else and not feeling much love for myself. Many years, Valentines was a lonely day; a day that instead of celebrating was a day of feeling terrible and lonely.
Make this Valentine’s Day a romance with yourself
So, what if we change the narrative of Valentines Day? What if instead of just romance between two people, we created romance for ourselves? That no matter if we have plans with others or not, we make Valentines Day a celebration of ourselves. A time to think about what we love about ourselves, to focus on our dreams and to spread love to others. All it takes is a shift of thinking.
We received a Valentines Day card today that at first glance I thought was a late Christmas card. What a lovely surprise. A family wishing love for others. That is a trend I can get behind!
This February 14th, let’s all set aside some time (or the whole damn day if it is open) to celebrate and love ourselves and to share that love with others. No Tostitos and Sour Cream Girl! Shelf that crap for another time or better yet, toss it in the garbage. Get excited about planning something for the most important person in your life – YOU. And, as your love meter increases, consider giving some of that love to others. Leave some snacks out for the delivery person. Make little porch deliveries to friends. Send e-cards or snail mail. Buy the coffee for the person behind you. Fill your bucket by spreading love. The more love you give, the more the universe will return.
Most importantly, though, love the big kahuna – YOU! Here are a few ideas of ways to love yourself – some I thought up and others I gleaned from The Little Book of Self Care – 200 Ways to Refresh, Restore & Rejuvenate, Adams Media, 2017 (those are highlighted with an *).
- Schedule a massage*
- Woodhouse Day Spa has locations across the US and is sumptuous
- Give Yourself an at Home Facial and take a Luxurious Bath*
- Get Moving – do a fun dance class (many are available online right now)
- Let Someone Brush Your Hair* – Get a Blowout
- Love DryBar (and they are having specials – ask about 50% off)
- Support a local restaurant and order in – check down in my Insta saved stories for some ideas
- Buy a stack of magazines and get dreaming. Create a vision board. Want company? schedule a Galentine’s Zoom call and do together while snacking on cheese trays and drinking wine.
- In Denver, try So Damn Gouda as they provide individual snack boxes that are amazing.
- Settle in with a good book and take a nap*
- Boost Your Self Esteem with Orgasms – next week, we have an intimacy coach who will discuss how self pleasuring leads to better sex with a partner (did you notice how I snuck this in here? This VA gal is not quite comfortable talking about S – E -X yet.)
- Schedule game night over Zoom with friends and/or family. Check out adult bingo at iloveadultshelpingadults.weebly.com. Or spend some time telling one thing you love about yourself and one thing you love about each person on the call.
- Binge one of the latest series – The Queen’s Gambit, Bridgerton, Emily in Paris, Lupin, Ted Lasso, what else? (I actually need a new show)
- Start the day with a new way of thinking – something you are grateful for, something you love about yourself, something you plan to do and something you are letting go
Whatever situation you find yourself in, make a promise to yourself that you are going to make some time to love you! And, if you know a friend is going to be alone, share this list with them and let them in on the new way to celebrate the day of love.
If you have other ideas, please share below. What are some of your favorite ways to love yourself?
*If you click on the link to the book, I may receive a small commission.